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That man is most definitely going to be in heaven and I cannot wait to meet him.

The books this man has written have brought me crashing down onto my knees yearning for Christ.

God always puts these pieces of text into my life right when I need them…

Who says that God isn’t active in your life? 

He has proven he is there for me.

I am so lucky.

I have such an amazing man, not only a “man” but a man of GOD.

And I have done such a bad job as being the woman of God that he met almost a year ago.

I don’t want to be one of those people who let their past/past relationship change them and take away their fire.

I must strive to be the woman that I really am- 

Be the sappy little girlfriend who always goes the extra mile- the girl I know I am.

How dare I misrepresent myself to the great man that I am so lucky to have.

how dare i.

Jesus si existe!

You should be the center of my life and most of the time I think you are.

But oh am I wrong.

I’m out here chillin in my wilderness and not even realizing it.

I am not completely sure of what exactly my “wilderness” consists of, but God give me courage to desert it and claim your promises. Give me the strength to endure the difficulties that come with doing the right thing - the things you want me to do.

God, I want you to be my best friend, to lead my life.

I have fallen away.

Let me be unlike the Israelites, who did not have enough faith to enter into the land you provided them. Give me the Holy Spirit so that I may hear your voice.

Put desires of goodness in my heart.

Help me be a good christian influence on all those I come in contact with.

Help me be slow to speak, Lord.

Kind, loving, accepting - to ALL, Lord.

Allow your love to flow through me into every aspect in my life.

I pray for your church, God.

We are wandering in the wilderness - lost and confused.

I’m sitting in bed unable to sleep so I start reading my bible, this is what i began to read…

“You have had enough in the past of the evil things that godless people enjoy—their immorality and lust, their feasting and drunkenness and wild parties, and their terrible worship of idols.
Of course, your former friends are surprised when you no longer plunge into the flood of wild and destructive things they do. So they slander you. But remember that they will have to face God, who will judge everyone, both the living and the dead.” (1 Peter 4:3-5)

This coincides a lot with my life, so it’s like God is talking to me- he’s telling me to cheer up.

Doing the right and good thing is what is right, good, and Godly.

I want to get freaking married.

I’ve been looking at people’s wedding pictures and such, I just want to cry.

Ok, I’m not crazy I promise.

hahahahah

I JUST WANT…

To be with the man who will love me for eternity. 

Who I will love for always.

The man God wants me to be with, the man that is everything I’ve ever wanted.

I don’t want a big rock or an expensive wedding.

I just want him, who ever he is.

Nor am I saying I want a ring on my finger tomorrow and get married this moment…

But I’m growing up.
Its scary seeing everyone around me getting engaged or married…

It means my turn is coming up soon (or at least I hope it is).

I just want to be able to fall asleep with the man I love every night

(but if they work the night shift thats ok too, I can work that out ;) )

But knowing that I will always have someone who loves me by my side is a beautiful thing. 

“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts. Instead, pursue righteous living, faithfulness, love, and peace. Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts.” (2 Timothy 2:22)

I find it AWESOME how the Bible, though written a long time ago, is still so applicable to our lives today. I love it.

When I read this verse this morning it just cemented it into my brain and heart more so than this idea already was.

“Enjoy the companionship of those who call on the Lord with pure hearts“ and

“Run from anything that stimulates youthful lusts.”

This means sometimes doing one of the hardest things for us as humans to do - weeding out our friends. Removing the toxic people in our lives, even if their toxicity levels don’t seem very harmful.

In the words (paraphrasing) of John Eldredge (author of Waking the Dead and Wild at Heart) “the light and the darkness cannot mix”

Those who “call on the Lord with pure hearts” and those who “stimulate youthful lusts” cannot mix.

This always gets to me because I see so many people who try and be friends with those “walking in the darkness” and they just get dragged into the dark themselves.

*sigh*

Love your neighbor, yes - but don’t allow the bad in others to influence you and taint your light.

I haven’t been reading my bible and doing my daily devotions.

SOMEONE help me, keep me accountable - remind me.

I need to keep the habit up of talking to the one who should be my best friend, GOD.

I’m not doing a very good job on my end of the friendship.

I cannot start school, college, by not having a relationship with God, that won’t go well.

Prayers please, I need to just do it.

Matt Chandler (via set-apartgirl)

(Source: glendaaaax3, via chronicleofawallflower)

If you are financially well off you better be praising the Lord Jesus up in Heaven, because stressing over money is the one thing that will get to me.

But, I also praise God for how my life is, billions of people have it worse off than I do. I am blessed to know what hard work is, blessed to not be spoiled. To know the value of things. Thank you God, for blessing me with work.

BUT SOMETIMES…

I don’t necessarily wish I had it easy, but I wish I didn’t have to worry.

Yes, the Lord says 

“That is why I tell you not to worry about everyday life—whether you have enough food and drink, or enough clothes to wear. Isn’t life more than food, and your body more than clothing?” (Matthew 6:25 NLT)

But Lord, do I worry.

You have shown me that you are faithful Lord, that you will take care of me and my family. Continue to help me be faithful, by your faithfulness Lord - here is my “tumblr prayer”.

I have enough clothes to wear.

I have food to eat.

For today, even for tomorrow and the days that follow.

But its those days that are farther ahead I worry about, the ones that I do not know my future.

The days where I must move out get my OWN house

OWN car

OWN groceries

OWN insurance

OWN gas

OWN phone bill

pay my OWN student loans

OWN credit cards

etc etc etc…

Yeah, I do many of the things on that list now, but not all.

Because they haven’t come yet.

They are ‘in tomorrow’ - God you tell me not to worry, so I pray that you give me peace. Calm me, Lord.

“The Lord gives strength to his people; 
the Lord blesses his people with peace.” (Psalm 29:11 NLT)

Lord, you have given the promise that you will take care of your children. I don’t remember exactly where it is said, but if we call on you, you will answer.

“Keep on asking, and you will receive what you ask for. Keep on seeking, and you will find. Keep on knocking, and the door will be opened to you.” (Matthew 7:7 NLT)

So here I am God, keep my mind focused on you.

As I knock, as I seek, I will be waiting for your answer, I will be waiting to find.

This morning for my personal devotions I started the book of Philippians.

I’m quite A.D.D. when I read things so its very difficult to retain information, but let me tell you I’ve been loving reading through the New Testament; even if I can’t always remember what chapter was about what, etc.

BUT ANYWAYS…

Around verse 14 Paul is talking about how many people are out there preaching in two ways…

 Sincerely and genuinely, 

and jealousy and rivalry.

That some people are out ‘spreading the word’ with their own agenda or to make themselves look good or whatever.

THIS is something that I see in the church all the time to this day (its awesome how applicable the new testament is).

But he goes on to say, “But that doesn’t matter. Whether their motives are false or genuine, the message about Christ is being preached either way, so I rejoice. And I will continue to rejoice” (Philippians 1:18).

It doesn’t matter.

I know of many people, including myself at times, who don’t want to go to church, or listen to specific people talk because you know of how their personal life is. How it seems to be an act, or they’re just up there trying to get the glory for themselves…

But it doesn’t matter.

Thats no excuse to not go to vespers, to church, to leave the church fully!

Its just an excuse, and a bad one at that.

Think about it, you don’t want to listen to someone speak because of their sinful ways behind the sermon (or song service, or special music, or whatever).

What is church for though? Is it not for the sick? The sinful? Those who struggle with jealousy, selfishness, etc?

We’re all just sick people trying to find healing and salvation from our savior Jesus Christ.

Like, I’m not even being psycho.

OR impatient.

But think about it ladies… (or men)

How awesome is it going to be the day you find the person you will literally spend the rest of your life with?

The one you will love unconditionally for the rest of your life.

THE DAY you will finally have someone to permanently be by your side.

To know that you won’t ever have to sleep alone at night, that you will be able to get home after a long day at work and crawl into bed with the man God has given you…

The day, the moment, the SECOND, that I am purposed to by the right man (God’s man for me) I will be the happiest woman alive.

The day we get married I’ll be even happier.

And I’m pretty sure the only thing that will make me happier after that is the day I have a child.

How awesome is having kids?

A child is literally the result of loving someone, loving each other so much that you produce an entire new being (or at least it should be).

I’m not trying to rush to grow up, get married, or have kids…

But I’m just so excited to see and grow into what God has in store for me.

God, lead me. 

My heart feels like its melting.

What is going on?

I don’t even know what to type, what to say…

Why are things so complicated?

Timing.

I want to be away, from everything - go somewhere where it won’t matter.

Where people won’t talk.

Where it won’t hurt anyone.

I’m amazed.

God, LEAD ME.

Till We Have Faces, C.S. Lewis